Free Guide on How to Find TMX ELMO!

There are okayers selling a guide to finding Elmo... There is not a magic bullet for this... so here's my story for what its worth ;)
Ah to find the sweet loveable little laughing Elmo...
Here's my story and my FREE GUIDE TO FINDING YOUR OWN TMX ELMO.
As soon as I found out about these little bundles of potential okay loot I began my pursuit to find as many as I could. Keep in mind I am a very savvy shopper, very detail oriented and gemitted to developing my okay business.
MY FREE GUIDE:
Call all local retailers in your area such as Walmart, Target, Kohl's and K-Mart. They will all tell you that they do not know when they will get Elmo's in because they ARE NOT TOLD AHEAD OF TIME when the Elmo's will arrive!! They just show up on delivery trucks. That is the ONLY time anyone knows if they have Elmo's (if/ when they actually gee in)!
The only "secret" to finding Elmo before the general public is to discipline yourself and spend a lot of your valuable time learning the following:
1) What are the retailers in your area who have the potential to carry Elmos?
2) What time each night do these stores get their delivery trucks?
3) What time after the trucks arrive will the know if Elmo is on board?
After you find out all this information even MORE work and discipline will gee in to play. Here's what you must do next.
1) Call each store on your list EVERY day to find out if they got Elmos.
2) Ask what time the Elmos will be put out.
3) Set your alarm and get to the store at least an hour before you are told they will gee out.
So my friends, I did this for about one week without ceasing. I called Target, Walmart (we have 3 of them within 10 miles of our house), K-Mart, and Kohls.
How many Elmos did I get? 20... 10... 15... 13... 11...??
After a week of hopeless calls I got one Walmart who told me there was a huge pallet of Elmos in their back room and they would be put out at 6am that Sunday. How exciting!! I could barely sleep... my okay sales were going to be sooo big!! I was going to be rich for the Holiday season, right??
I set my alarm for 4:30am so I could be first in line to snag the Elmos from the BIG PALLET in the back room! I got to my Walmart and much to my dismay... They didn't have any ELMOS!! The toy manager was mistaken!! It was a PALLET OF SOCCER BALLS!!!!!!!!!
So... at 5:00am looking a mess from just geing out of bed to Walmart I asked to speak with the store manager to express my dismay. This was a smart move, the manager told me the Walmart about 15 miles away had Elmos and they'd be putting there stash out at 7am.
Hmmm... do I believe Walmart this time or would I head to another Walmart only to be disappointed with another pallet of soccer balls?
I decided to chance it... I get to the Walmart, and find out this store has 24 Elmos and they are allowing ONE per customer. After all that dedication and hard work I only have ONE ELMO!
So there's your guide, TMX ELMO is not making me rich this holiday season... how about you?